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Haircuts on US Dollar Bills: Ranked

We see the haircuts on US dollar bills constantly. Yet which one is best, and why? A veteran hairdresser ranks the best, down to the rest.

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Grant on $50 Dollar bill - hipster haircut
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#6 Thomas Jefferson – $2 US Dollar Bill

Thomas Jefferson on $2 US Treasury

Style on the $2 US Dollar Bill:

To dispel a popular myth, the US Mint still prints $2 bills. No, they’re not collectables, nor are they even particularly special. In fact, you can get that specific domination from just about any bank.

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The portrait of Jefferson depicted on the $2 dollar bill appears to be based on a portrait originally painted by Rembrandt Peal prior to mid-May 1800, and just before his upcoming election to serve his first term as US President. Despite popular belief, there is evidence that Thomas Jefferson at least purchased and owned wigs between 1769 and 1773. It is unclear if Jefferson is wearing one in this depiction. 

Given the look on Jefferson’s face and the likely portrayal used for the US $2 dollar bill, Jefferson seems like he had greater concerns on his mind than hair. That is hardly incomprehensible, as he was contemplating the prospect of having the weight of the world thrust upon him. Jefferson had his haircut quite short, and it looks as if he powdered it heavily.  

Strength:

Unfortunately, Jefferson is lacking much in the way of positive qualities for his hair on the $2 dollar bill. 

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Weakness:

The shape of his haircut, relative to his facial bone structure is barely adequate. The balance of Jefferson’s haircut is off. The top is too weakened, and it calls too much attention to the top and side of his head. This is mostly because Jefferson’s sides are not in proportion in this picture, and he also seems to be experiencing thinning hair. 

How to Improve:

Whatever course is taken with Jefferson’s hair, he must be tidied up. He might have considered somehow growing his hair long, or conversely, even possibly shorter. The aesthetic eye observes thinner hair at the top of his head, because the proportion of the sides are out-of-whack.

There is a certain wisdom to pulling in Jefferson’s sides a little bit. Though relative to its thickness on the side compared to the top, its hard to say if he should.

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#7 George Washington – $1 US Dollar Bill

George Washington $1US Treasury

Style on the $1 US dollar Bill:

In George Washington’s portrayal on the US $1 dollar bill, he was not wearing a wig. Nor was Washington a Whig himself. His style was consistent with a wealthy, Virginian landowner favored by late 18th/early 19th century American men. As he was well known for interpersonally, Washington projects a definitive stoic look.

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Strength:

Washington at least projected the very stoic look he desired. As a man, Washington was very particular about never disturbing that quality of himself. For better or worse, there is value in ones look appearing exactly as they wish. 

Weakness:

His hair does nothing to compliment his features. It tends to accentuate his nose by making it appear larger. Washington has a mostly triangular shape to his hair, and it creates an umbrella effect on the sides. 

How to improve:

This suggestion may accompany accusations of “hair-esy” by some, but it is possible a beard may have softened Washington’s less flattering features – if he could grow one. Growing a beard might have generated some balance on Washington’s face that is absent on his $1 dollar bill portrait. 

Write to Philip A. DiCostanzo at padicostanzo@tgnreview.com

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Truth student, music producer, writer, performer, speaker, composer, Beatles archivist, professional hair stylist, metaphysical practitioner, and lifelong entrepreneur.

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